Men Experience Discrimination

Men are now targets for profiling all around the globe, as the Wall Street Journal reported last month.

Men everywhere claim they are being treated as predators, pedophiles and rapists when they have done nothing wrong! Things such as changing a baby's diaper, stocking underwear in a store, and rescuing a child in danger have earned men beatings, dirty looks, and even legal attacks. When it is not legal for a day care center employee to change a baby's diaper, simply because the employee is a man, how is this helping anyone?

This is blatant discrimination and it's totally unfair. Treating all men like they are criminals, before they have done anything wrong? Why are we making innocent people suffer just because of their biology?

...Oops, wait a second! I forgot that this attitude is totally outdated in America, and NOT politically correct. My TV already told me that profiling is ok, and even recommended for public safety! We need to profile American males to protect ourselves from attacks just like we need to profile Middle Eastern Americans to protect ourselves from terrorism. Thereby if you protest the profiling of men in America, you are helping the terrorists!

Global Warming Can Now Be Blamed for Everything

Tired of all the snow hitting your home this year? Well, at least you can blame it on global warming.

It's true: global warming not only means death by heat, but death by snow as well. Al Gore explained it all earlier today when he said,

"increased heavy snowfalls are completely consistent with what they [scientists] have been predicting as a consequence of man-made global warming...In fact, scientists have been warning for at least two decades that global warming could make snowstorms more severe.

Snow has two simple ingredients: cold and moisture. Warmer air collects moisture like a sponge until it hits a patch of cold air. When temperatures dip below freezing, a lot of moisture creates a lot of snow.”

Man, those crazy liberals and their global warming panic. First we have to worry about heatwaves, hurricanes and drought, and now we have to worry about snowstorms? How many problems could one bad thing possibly cause!? What's next, death by angry polar bears?

Pffft. Global warming is just a string of coincidences that have no greater meaning. The record-breaking snow totals across the US this winter are just a coincidence. People in Hartford, Connecticut, worrying about their roofs collapsing because the city got over FOUR TIMES the record amount of snow last month? Just a coincidence.

It also means nothing that this year had the hottest Arctic Currents in 2,000 years.

Bridalplasty Wins A Gold Star

America, the land of opportunity, freedom and...free plastic surgery? Well, only if you defeat your rival brides-to-be on public TV! Keeping the same body you got engaged with is for losers! For teaching us this, the show Bridalplasty wins a Gold Star straight from my heart.

Bridalplasty also wins because it encourages women to run with syringes and uses the phrase "injectable party!" That sounds fun for all the wrong reasons.

Major Kudos to Modern Lady for effectively mocking this show. I can't give any better feedback than what she says here:


Cosmetic surgery compared to an angel's voice? Great, now I have to worry about this movie becoming a reality, too.

RIP Net Neutrality

The tiered web access deal being plotted by Verizon and Google is bad news for all internet users.

Yes, of course it's bad news for the freedom loving hippies who will complain about the loss of net neutrality and the fact that their web content is now being censored.

But, did you know its also bad news for God-loving Americans? Three years ago, Associated Press showed that similar web filtering was used by Comcast to BLOCK ACCESS TO THE BIBLE online.

Well, I guess we can always look to the upcoming Free Internet to save us all. Oh wait, the FCC decided to block that too. Despite support from over 70,000 people and "300 local, state and federal officials from all 50 states," the FCC decided granting ad-supported free Wireless internet to the public was "not the best policy outcome." What could be a better policy outcome? Well, right now the FCC is planning to auction this extra bandwith (known as the AWS-3 bandwith) to already existing service providers to "bring additional spectrum to market so the wireless ecosystem can continue to provide our consumers with the most innovative industry in the world."

Now I'm not really sure but I thought the words auction, market, consumer and industry were not supposed to be what motivates a federal agency. But maybe the concept of public good is something that will die out along with the uncensored internet.

Americans Low On Science, High on God

Fox News Bill O'Reilly doesn't know where ocean tides come from. Last night, he stated that God must exist because, "Tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can't explain that!"

Stephen Colbert takes the time to mock and refute this in his video here:

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Bill O'Reilly Proves God's Existence - Neil deGrasse Tyson
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Stephen also takes the time to teach us where ocean tides actually DO come from (AKA the Moon's gravity). Which is good because, how many Americans actually know where tides DO come from? If Bill O Reily can claim that "YOU can't explain that" it means that he thinks most Americans really don't know anything about gravity or the moon AND that he can use that ignorance to his advantage. I learned all that moon/tide nonsense in 7th-grade science, so I'm kind of scared to think that this knowledge is utterly absent from a large percent of our country.

Well, I guess you really have two kinds of Americans here. Ones who know science, and ones who have blissful ignorance tied to faith in God. Certainly Bill O'Reily is leading Americans to become the later, but he isn't alone with states like Indiana and Texas changing their school policies to include more censorship, and more focus on the benefits of God.

But hey, isn't faith better than a little useless science trivia? I may know where the tides come from, but how has that really improved my life?