Monday, February 7, 2011

Men Experience Discrimination

Men are now targets for profiling all around the globe, as the Wall Street Journal reported last month.

Men everywhere claim they are being treated as predators, pedophiles and rapists when they have done nothing wrong! Things such as changing a baby's diaper, stocking underwear in a store, and rescuing a child in danger have earned men beatings, dirty looks, and even legal attacks. When it is not legal for a day care center employee to change a baby's diaper, simply because the employee is a man, how is this helping anyone?

This is blatant discrimination and it's totally unfair. Treating all men like they are criminals, before they have done anything wrong? Why are we making innocent people suffer just because of their biology?

...Oops, wait a second! I forgot that this attitude is totally outdated in America, and NOT politically correct. My TV already told me that profiling is ok, and even recommended for public safety! We need to profile American males to protect ourselves from attacks just like we need to profile Middle Eastern Americans to protect ourselves from terrorism. Thereby if you protest the profiling of men in America, you are helping the terrorists!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Global Warming Can Now Be Blamed for Everything

Tired of all the snow hitting your home this year? Well, at least you can blame it on global warming.

It's true: global warming not only means death by heat, but death by snow as well. Al Gore explained it all earlier today when he said,
"increased heavy snowfalls are completely consistent with what they [scientists] have been predicting as a consequence of man-made global warming...In fact, scientists have been warning for at least two decades that global warming could make snowstorms more severe.

Snow has two simple ingredients: cold and moisture. Warmer air collects moisture like a sponge until it hits a patch of cold air. When temperatures dip below freezing, a lot of moisture creates a lot of snow.”
Man, those crazy liberals and their global warming panic. First we have to worry about heatwaves, hurricanes and drought, and now we have to worry about snowstorms? How many problems could one bad thing possibly cause!? What's next, death by angry polar bears?

Pffft. Global warming is just a string of coincidences that have no greater meaning. The record-breaking snow totals across the US this winter are just a coincidence. People in Hartford, Connecticut, worrying about their roofs collapsing because the city got over FOUR TIMES the record amount of snow last month? Just a coincidence.

It also means nothing that this year had the hottest Arctic Currents in 2,000 years.