Have you ever heard of geoengineering? It's a great new science that lets us FIX our climate! Brains from all around the world have been coming together this year to discuss ways we can lower the earth's temperature and keep global warming at bay.
Some of their lovely ideas include:
- spraying sulfuric acid into the stratosphere (this creates aerosols which block solar radiation)
- creating brighter clouds that produce more rain and block more sunlight
- sucking CO2 from the air and storing it where it can never escape--cleverly named Carbon Capture!
- shooting reflective disks into space.. at the exciting rate of 1,000,000 a MINUTE for 30 years!
Now, I know some people might worry that such hip and snazzy methods could be a little risky:
"But geoengineers, your sulfur particles that block the sun are the same ones that cause acid rain!"
Not to worry, concerned public: Sulfur aerosols that geoengineers create will be put above rain clouds, not into them! As Austrian physicist Jason Blackstock said, "by putting them higher, they stay up longer because they're above the clouds, which means they aren't raining out as acid rain all the time." And as long as you don't have acid rain ALL THE TIME, everything should be just fine.
Also, that guy who said what goes up must come down? He clearly wasn't at the conference.