Thursday, June 24, 2010

Mastectomy Fever Sweeps Iran

Fashion update: Breasts are officially an undesirable feature in Iran!

The Vice Police ordered the chop-chop for these mannequins while cracking down on "Un-Islamic" practices in Tehran.

In America I get annoyed just looking at super curvy plastic buttocks in the store window. Obnoxious and over the top for sure, but at least it's a cheerful image. Meanwhile, these dolls are frowning and shutting their eyes, more dismal than a dead nun. You can practically hear the sighs of all those plastic ladies wishing they didn't have awkward inhuman stumps showing through the front of their thawb.

How can this possibly attract women to shop at the store? "Oh yes, see how modest these dolls look in our clothes. With a robe like this you would never attract the attention of a man! So even though the ideal of not having womanly assets may be a bit out of your reach, our clothing is the next best thing."

Yep, breasts are totally disgusting. I mean, people might look at you and be reminded that you are a WOMAN! So keep them out of sight until you need them for the only thing they're good for:

feeding newborns, of course!

1 comment:

  1. It all seems so crazy and sick, the treatment of women in the Middle East, doesn't it? Almost as crazy and sick as the treatment of adolescent girls in the culture of the US. Arguably, the degree of sick and crazy is less where they mandate that women cover themselves for their own protection. We just teach our girls to expose nearly everything and behave provocatively as if to encourage their own exploitation. Rather than make it a state policy that they dress and behave that way, though, we let the free market economy teach our girls who they must be...and then we make laws to protect the market's right to do so.